abrasive

adj

1. Producing abrasion; rough enough to wear away the outer surface.
2. Being rough and coarse in manner or disposition; overly aggressive and causing irritation.

   “An abrasive person can grate on one's sensibilities.”

   “Despite her proper upbringing, we found her manners to be terribly abrasive.”

   “The women of the movement, it struck me, were more humorless and more single-minded in their total dedication to the ideology than were the men. In fact, Chiang Ching was unpleasantly abrasive and aggressive. At one point that evening she turned to me and in a challenging voice asked, "Why did you not come to China before now?" Since the ballet was in progress at the time, I did not respond.”

noun

1. A hard inorganic substance or material consisting in powder or granule form such as sandpaper, pumice, or emery, used for cleaning, smoothing, or polishing.
2. Rock fragments, sand grains, mineral particles, used by water, wind, and ice to abrade a land surface.